Suffering

“Guns are not the problem, Evil is the Problem.”  That was my facebook status last week.  Most of my “friends” liked it and agreed.  Some disagreed and likely went to bed thinking I was an ignorant pig. Either way, I believe my statement did not accurately represent what I meant.  I, like most, have reacted to the shootings and am angry and bothered because that’s just what happens when pain is obvious and innocence is killed and we see suffering that we can relate to.  It’s first world suffering that tends to grab us in the USA.  More so than genocide in Rwanda, or current rape and torture of children in the Middle East. That suffering feels so “other” and difficult to relate to.  A shooting of Kindergartners in a white suburban town: We get it. It grabs the jugular. It grabbed mine too. Though somewhat novel to our current life experience in America, it is still real suffering. Quite frankly, every time I cut the crust of my daughter’s  PBandJ this week, I felt like barfing.  I can’t imagine the loss of my little girl. Damn anyone that kept me from getting to pack her lunch and watch her grow.  I have imagined those parents and wondered about them.  I believe, if in their shoes, the only thing that would keep me from crawling into the coffin with my daughter, would be my love and want for my other daughter.  Shy of that, I believe the pain would be too great to bare. 

I believe that evil exists. Not the scary bloody Halloween devil monster evil, but the real kind. The kind that massacred thousands of Native Americans during and after the “pilgrims” settled America.  Or the kind that stole thousands of human beings off another continent and enslaved them on American soil; Enslaved them, dehumanized them, raped them, beat them, hung them and destroyed human rights for generations.   Or the kind that murdered millions of Jews (babies, children, men, women and the elderly) by torturing, starving, gassing and burning them.  Or the kind that creates hatred of all kinds:  war, divorce, abuse, pedophilia, lies, manipulation and jealousy. Or the seemingly benign kind, like gossip, and white lies and sarcasm and name calling and the time/s I have been impatient, mean or careless with my husband and children.  It’s all evil. 

I see it at my workplace too. As  a worker in the mental health field, I see (daily) people weep over loss and shake in fear, or grieve in a fetal position in my office because their boyfriend raped them or they are scared to be with family over the Holidays because Mom is mentally ill and abusive.  And I see it when one’s mental illness is so severe and their pain so great, they tell me they want to kill themselves and other innocent people too.  I saw evil last week when we buried my Aunt. Cancer.  That damn cancer. It took her precious life. And cancer is evil.  I see it on the news too and I drive past it daily; Through the “ghetto” in New Orleans.  I have friends who teach at schools that are scary.  The teachers and the kids walk through a broken metal detector that sometimes works, in fear that being shot or stabbed is a realistic possibility every, single, day.  And they have seen students stab each other and their lives have been threatened.  But these children live in the ghetto and this is “normal” so we don’t hear about it and people don’t cry about it when they pack their child’s lunch the next day.  Nobody does random acts of kindness on their behalf or in their memory. And nobody lights candles for them either.  I know people who have no electricity and go to bed every single night holding their babies tight on the floor away from windows, because “fireworks at night” are the norm.  They and their babies risk being shot every evening. So do their neighbors. And their neighbor’s too.   

I suspect the watching world, (if they have the technology to do so) in places where it is assumed their child may be killed any moment because of random crime and/or their culture or political climate and laws allow it ,  are a bit confused by our reaction to Sandy Hook. Not because they don’t identify with the pain but because they do.  Because this pain is the norm and there is no hope of it stopping.

The shootings in Connecticut demand our best reaction and deepest sympathy and willingness to act on behalf of all those who suffer senseless death and pain.  And evil is the problem. May we debate till the end of time how to combat it.  But please, for all those who have suffered, are suffering and will continue to until the end of time, let the loss of innocence at Sandy Hook move you to awareness, sympathy and argument on behalf of ALL.