My sister keeps asking me if Granny retired. I was decorating my daughter's Birthday cake Friday night while the husband drank a beer and kept me company. He too, asked the same question." I don't know", I said. People want to see pretty things and I'm too lazy with the camera. Mostly, I think I piss people off, which I admittedly enjoy but not enough to push the upload or cut and paste button when I write. So, I think maybe Granny did retire. Or maybe she's just in a season of crotchedy-ness. (which has been known to happen here and there.)
In that vein, I have found that I don't really like the blog world very much. Similar to Facebook, and People.com, and Etsy and Pinetrest and US weekly, it seems like there is a false sense of inspiration or encouragement. Like the time when I was looking at an US weekly and my husband asked me if I felt good about myself when I read it. "Oh please", I said.."it's silly entertainment." He said," Uh, huh. I bet you don't feel one ounce of inadeqaucy about yourself when your done." " Ok, I said, maybe I do wish for buffer arms and some Penelope Cruz sex appeal ." Just maybe.
And just maybe I'm too Grannyish. And just maybe I'm right. People do want to look at pretty things and pretty people and pretty children and pretty food and pretty gardens and interesting gossip. And people want to present the pretty in their life to others. Even if it paints a false reality. Been there. Done that. I get it.
But neither reading it nor blogging it or taking pictures of it gives it meaning or value or beauty. Maybe it gives some pretty to make others pause and wish for what they don't have...Like that pretty kid, family, or that fabulous sofa but not the real stuff. And most often the reading and the blogging and the picturing and the facebooking and pinetresting does just the opposite. It steals the moment and cheapens the value of it. I think. It has for me, anyway. I can assure you, for most children, it does as well. Introduce me to a child that likes it when his parents are tweeting or facebooking a special moment they are sharing. I have never met one. Most children hate the camera, hate their moment interrupted, hate their moment exposed, hate posing and especially hate it when their parents are distracted by a telephone or computer.
I'm glad for technology and all the new social media venues. Partially, anyway. I am grateful to connect with old friends because of it. But life and kids were cute and valuable long before they were "liked" on facebook or validated on blogs. And daily rehearsal and comparison of ones' self to other's superficial external world is affecting. (reading and re-reading facebook, blogs, pinetrest, etc.) Most of the time, the affect is not positive or simple.
So here is my Granny advice to those of you who struggle with life in cyberspace:
1. How much time you spend in cyber space greatly affects you and those around you.
2. When and where you check email/FB/twitter etc. affects relationships. ** If you are out to dinner with your spouse...Be at dinner with your spouse. FB does not need to know. Your spouse needs you in the moment.
3. Your children need your attention. Playing with them while texting is not playing with them.
4. Your friends need your attention. Stop texting other friends and co-workers when you are having coffee with your friend. Drink your coffee. Talk to your friend across the table. Not the one on the phone.
5. Don't read blogs or websites that make you hate your furniture or your life. Period.
6. Remember that just because families look pretty dressed in all white on the beach does not mean that their life is void of problems. They have issues.
7. When you pick your children up from school. GET OFF THE PHONE. They need you to be interested in their day.
8. If you need a break from your children that are on your nerves: Drink a glass of wine or breathe some fresh air. Don't go look at other people's children on facebook. It will irritate you more.
9. Turn your phone off here and there. Run some errands without it. Leave it in the car while you are at the park with your kids or while you are excercising. It's not as bad as being naked in front of a crowd. Really.
10. Get off facebook and blogs etc. for a month or more and see how much you gain or lose.
In the meantime, I'll be rocking on my porch, bitching about technology and staring at my beautiful children.
Love to all,
Granny
